A few days ago, I encountered a conversation with an acquaintance in which she said that she and her spouse cleaned their home together earlier.I then hithered my husband over and with my sarcasm tainted voice said “how nice! He cleaned WITH her!” Then, in true peter fashion he rolled his eyes and exclaimed how hard he worked this week. (Another cook is away for a month leaving peter to pick up his hours) YES he has been working really hard!…But what about the rest of the weeks or months or years?? I ADORE my husband! He has so many strengths as an amazing husband and father! However…HE IS A SLOB!!!!
So another acquaintance hears the exchange and proceeds to say “oh but that IS hard work!”….
Now, me trying hard not to be confrontational I didn’t say what I was thinking. Which was: AND I DON’T?!
First of all, I’ve grown up IN a pizzeria myself. My family has been doing it for years and years! That’s HOW I met my husband! We worked together for a short period of time. I am completely aware of the difficulty level of the restaurant business. So I don’t appreciate when people (especially other moms) assume because I’m a sahm, I don’t know what hard work is! Because I have the hardest job of all!
Secondly, if a working spouse works so hard at his/her job, is that really an excuse to not do anything at home??? I surely don’t think so! I did not create this child or this mess on my own! I worked throughout my entire pregnancy as a dance instructor no less! And still had to upkeep the house. So why would my husband be excused from all household chores because I’M a sahm? Yes I agree to do more than he does because he does work hard however, that is not the same as doing absolutely nothing or next to nothing.
Most importantly, when a working spouse clocks out of work they are done for the day. When my husband comes home from work, Aria is already fed, bathed, read to, teeth brushed, nails clipped put to bed etc. The house is best described at this point as “there appears to have been a struggle” LOL and I am exhausted and missed my Hubby all day so I sit with him while he eats his dinner and spend our only alone time together. And I awake at 7 am the next morning and try to simultaneously care for our child and clean up the house while he sleeps in before his long day at work. I am in charge of all feedings, diaper changes, clothing, activities etc. for the entire day. Most days it is just me and my girl which is awesome…but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t envy my husband’s ability to leave the house and socialize with other adults all day even if it is just work.
Then I remember why we decided to have me be a sahm. I have the hardest most rewarding job in the world! My Aria is absolutely thriving, physically, intellectually and emotionally. I am so proud of her and amazed by her every single day! And I know that being a sahm is helping her thrive to her greatest potential. I have the most sacrificial, thankless, discredited job in the world. I have to remember why I am doing this and not seek approval from others. God has blessed us with this opportunity and child by child I could change the world as I intend to and wether or not others see it as important or hard is irrelevant.